Jokes

A piece of string walks into a bar, props himself up on a stool and orders a beer.

The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind in here. Get out."

So the piece of string goes outside and starts tearing at the ends of himself, and throws himself down in the dirt and wallows around until, finally, he's tied himself into a knot. He goes back into the bar and sits back down on the same stool and orders a beer.

The bartender looks at him suspiciously and asks, "Aren't you the same piece of string I just threw out of here?"

"No, I'm a frayed knot."

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Did you hear about the blind guy that went bungee jumping?

He loved it, but it scared the crap out of his dog.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging from his zipper.

The bartender asks, "Hey! Do know you have a steering wheel hanging from your zipper?"

The pirate replies, "Aye. It's drivin' me nuts."

Courtesy of Jason Lee Miller.