n+1

Well, if pictures are worth a thousand words, then...

2007 was:


Here's to 2008.


Happy New Year.

Thrice - Open Water

I wanna tell you...

I'll say it simply: I thoroughly enjoyed Juno. It was easily one of the better movies I've seen in the past few years. This film is like a Ferrero Rocher...it's got a hard, nutty shell, but beneath lies a genuinely soft core, and the whole thing is absolutely delicious. Juno is very subtle in its delivery, and by the end I got choked up without really understanding why. I think that's a mark of a great film.

Juno MacGuff: I think I'm, like, in love with you.
Paulie Bleeker: You mean as friends?
Juno MacGuff: No, I mean, like, for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know...
Paulie Bleeker: I try really hard, actually.

---

It's not often that a major death covered by the news makes me feel sad, but when I read about Benazir Bhutto's untimely assassination my heart felt very heavy. This is most likely due to the fact that Pakistan's recent turmoil has been a story that I've kept up with for the past few months. Part of it is also stems from the op-ed pieces that Ms. Bhutto wrote for various publications, including The Wall Street Journal, a few of which I've read. In a strange way, I think I felt a slight personal connection with her and the agendas she pushed for, and this was forged and strengthened through reading her very own words printed on paper.

If this can happen with Ms. Bhutto, a lady that I have never met, how much more can this be true of someone that I actually have met? I'm ashamed that I have forgotten how important and wonderful it is to read the Bible, daily, with precise focus and intent. It's obvious and trite to say, but my connection with God is contingent upon my reading of his very own words.

---

One thing that was certain for Ms. Bhutto from the very first day she returned to Pakistan was that she was putting her very own life at risk in order to bring about change to her country. Death was in hot pursuit of her since October 18th, and it finally got her on December 27th, 2007.

We feel this kind of deadly pursuit, too. Something dark is hounding us with a relentless lust, and we try our best to avoid it. Seat belts, helmets, and vaccinations all go to drive this reality home. Since the great Fall, we have been forced to spend great amounts of energy and time avoiding death and any kind of punishment that must follow sin.

But I think too many times, God's pursuit of his people is overshadowed by this. Even more than the ominous end that seems to await us at every turn, God is inexorably pursuing us, not out of wrath but out of love. The whole Bible is an account of God seeking his people out in order to love and save them. This has been true since he called to Adam in the garden: "Where are you?" (Genesis 3:9)

Even beneath the hardships that he may send our way is his love and fierce desire for our best, which we never seem to know but always think we do.

I think that this is also why "waiting" and being "still" is mentioned so often in the Bible. We may pause and give God his due every now and again, but after that it's back to doing our best to avoid anything and anyone that might appear to disrupt the specious peace that seems to be reflected in our small ponds. Little do we know that underneath lie terrible things that must be drawn out, and what little peace we may have on the surface must many times be disturbed if we are to be rid of them.

You can't stop what's comin'. It ain't all waitin' on you.

At first, I read this line from No Country for Old Men with a negative, fearful perspective. But now, in light of my salvation in Christ, I can read this with a smile, because I know that what's comin' is good, and that (thank God) it ain't all waitin' on me.

In 2008, I will be praying for God to hammer this deeper into my head and my heart. I will do my best to sit still and embrace this truth, that he is ever pursuing me, to love me, regardless of me.

"Yet I know that good is coming to me - that it is always coming; though few have at all times the simplicity and the courage to believe it." - Anodos, from Phantastes, by George MacDonald

"God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing." - C.S. Lewis

---

Cat Power - Sea of Love


Come with me
My love
To the sea
The sea of love

I wanna tell you
How much
I love you

Do you remember
When we met
That's the day
I knew you were my pet

I wanna tell you
How much
I love you

Come with me
My love
To the sea
The sea of love

I wanna tell you
How much
I love you

The Simpsons: Goose Bumps and Duffman

Steve Nash + Chipped Tooth = Crazy Delicious

No Country For Old Men

I wanted to see this movie ever since it came out because it got great reviews.  And, as Lady Fortune would have it (totally kidding...sheesh), I was asked to choose a movie for some of us to see tonight, so I chose No Country For Old Men.  The time was good, the place was good, the movie seemed to be good (one of the year's best), so I selected this movie for my friends and me to watch tonight.

Well, most of the people I saw it with didn't seem to like it, but I walked out satisfied.  I thought it was a very good movie...not one I'd immediately place into my "Top 10" list, but one that definitely kept my attention from beginning to end.  To those interested in seeing it, it's a really tense movie.  It has a lot of blood and violence, and there are surprising moments, so if you don't like either of those you might want to stay away from this film.  However, in my humble, ignorant layman's opinion, I thought that this was one of the stronger movies I've seen lately...in the sense that the acting, cinematography, and script, along with just about every other technical aspect was airtight, stellar.  In that sense, it reminded me of Road To Perdition.

So, I walked out of the theater with an admiration for what I saw.  But, as I talked and thought about it more, I started to like it more and more.  I won't reveal it here, but I think the central message of the movie was conveyed quite wonderfully.

When I came home, I do what I always do after I've seen a movie I liked or admired: I went to IMDB and looked at the quotes.  As I read through the listed quotes for No Country For Old Men, I found myself growing to absolutely love the movie.  It's like listening to a great album, but it's so great that you don't grasp the lyrics on the first listen, so you go and look up the lyrics and after reading them you grow to totally adore the CD.  Oh, man, some of the lines in this movie were so great...

As with all good movies, there was a hint of the Gospel.  I'll admit, in this movie it was very small (there was a much more prominent nod to Ecclesiastes here)...but it was there, particularly in this exchange:

Anton Chigurh: You know how this is going to turn out, don't you?
Llewelyn Moss: Nope.
Anton Chigurh: I think you do. So this is what I'll offer - you bring me the money and I'll let her go. Otherwise she's accountable, same as you. That's the best deal you're gonna get. I won't tell you you can save yourself, because you can't.

I won't sully this gorgeous allegory (though, like all illustrations, it is imperfect), but if you don't see it, just replace "Anton Chigurh" with "Satan," and "Llewelyn Moss" with "Jesus."

See it?  Please tell me you do.  I want you to marvel at our salvation with me...

How beautiful is our Savior?

Ellis: You can't stop what's comin'. It ain't all waitin' on you. That's vanity.

Effeminate Basketball Jelly

I had to exchange something at a store today, and the man that initially helped me was quite effeminate.  But, that was fine.  I am no stranger to gay men.  Yes, that statement is misleading, but I won't take it back.  I'm just saying that after living in New York and near San Francisco for a bit, I've seen my share of them.  That's all I'm saying.

Anyhow, apparently he didn't have the managerial authority to conduct the exchange for me, so he had to call up the manager.  "She'll be right here," he told me.  A few seconds later, he reassured me that "she" was coming soon.  After about a minute, the manager finally appeared...only, she was a he...another effeminate man.  Needless to say, I was taken aback with shock, disappointment, and confusion.

Then I wondered...if someone were to introduce me as a "man," would people be shocked, disappointed, and confused when I strolled out from behind a curtain?  Do I exhibit the qualities of a genuine man?

Then I wondered...if someone were to introduce me as a "Christian," would people be shocked, disappointed, and confused when I strolled out from behind a curtain?  Do I exhibit the qualities of a genuine Christian?

One thing's for sure: so many foreshadowing incidents and prophets in the Old Testament pointed to the arrival of someone higher and better.  They said, in essence, "The Messiah is coming, the Messiah is coming," and their words did not lie.  When Jesus came, he was who they said he was, and he did what they said he would do.

This world is filled with disappointments, empty promises, and misleading statements...shes are hes, for crying out loud!  But this is not so with our Lord.  His 'Yes' is always 'Yes' and his 'No' is always 'No.'  He will never, ever introduce a he as a she.  And if this is true, then every single promise in the Bible becomes infinitely more comforting, hopeful, and joy-giving than if it were not true.  It makes an eternity of a difference.

---

I love fantasy basketball.  I just wish it had another name.  A man who says that he loves "fantasy basketball" sounds...effeminate.  Anything with the word "fantasy" conjures up notions of private bedroom activities or some kind of card game involving heroes and monsters with esoteric names, known only by pubescent boys with sweaty palms, thick glasses, and nerdy friends.  Still, I can't deny that I absolutely love fantasy basketball.  Seriously, I love it.  My palms sweat (yes, I realize the irony here), my heart beats a little faster, and my eyes get wide as I peruse box scores and examine trade scenarios.

But hell hath no fury like a man who loves fantasy basketball staring at a horribly disappointing line from one of his starters.  This is a glimpse of what I feel during these times:

Business School

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FreeRice

Do you want to help feed people living in poverty? Do you want to build your vocabulary in the process?

Then play FreeRice.

For every word you get right, 10 grains of rice will be donated to a hungry person by the United Nations World Food Program (WFP).

Details about this initiative are available on the site.

The Dog

A conversation with actor Steve Carell (Charlie Rose)

Blur - Good Song

Pixar Animations - Lifted

Maestro

Bunny

Rape Epidemic Raises Trauma of Congo War

                                                                                                                                            Hazel Thompson for The New York Times

By JEFFREY GETTLEMAN
(The New York Times - Original article here)

BUKAVU, Congo — Denis Mukwege, a Congolese gynecologist, cannot bear to listen to the stories his patients tell him anymore.

Every day, 10 new women and girls who have been raped show up at his hospital. Many have been so sadistically attacked from the inside out, butchered by bayonets and assaulted with chunks of wood, that their reproductive and digestive systems are beyond repair.

“We don’t know why these rapes are happening, but one thing is clear,” said Dr. Mukwege, who works in South Kivu Province, the epicenter of Congo’s rape epidemic. “They are done to destroy women.”

Eastern Congo is going through another one of its convulsions of violence, and this time it seems that women are being systematically attacked on a scale never before seen here. According to the United Nations, 27,000 sexual assaults were reported in 2006 in South Kivu Province alone, and that may be just a fraction of the total number across the country.

“The sexual violence in Congo is the worst in the world,” said John Holmes, the United Nations under secretary general for humanitarian affairs. “The sheer numbers, the wholesale brutality, the culture of impunity — it’s appalling.”

The days of chaos in Congo were supposed to be over. Last year, this country of 66 million people held a historic election that cost $500 million and was intended to end Congo’s various wars and rebellions and its tradition of epically bad government.

But the elections have not unified the country or significantly strengthened the Congolese government’s hand to deal with renegade forces, many of them from outside the country. The justice system and the military still barely function, and United Nations officials say Congolese government troops are among the worst offenders when it comes to rape. Large swaths of the country, especially in the east, remain authority-free zones where civilians are at the mercy of heavily armed groups who have made warfare a livelihood and survive by raiding villages and abducting women for ransom.

According to victims, one of the newest groups to emerge is called the Rastas, a mysterious gang of dreadlocked fugitives who live deep in the forest, wear shiny tracksuits and Los Angeles Lakers jerseys and are notorious for burning babies, kidnapping women and literally chopping up anybody who gets in their way.

United Nations officials said the so-called Rastas were once part of the Hutu militias who fled Rwanda after committing genocide there in 1994, but now it seems they have split off on their own and specialize in freelance cruelty.

Honorata Barinjibanwa, an 18-year-old woman with high cheekbones and downcast eyes, said she was kidnapped from a village that the Rastas raided in April and kept as a sex slave until August. Most of that time she was tied to a tree, and she still has rope marks ringing her delicate neck. The men would untie her for a few hours each day to gang-rape her, she said.

“I’m weak, I’m angry, and I don’t know how to restart my life,” she said from Panzi Hospital in Bukavu, where she was taken after her captors freed her.

She is also pregnant.

While rape has always been a weapon of war, researchers say they fear that Congo’s problem has metastasized into a wider social phenomenon.

“It’s gone beyond the conflict,” said Alexandra Bilak, who has studied various armed groups around Bukavu, on the shores of Lake Kivu. She said that the number of women abused and even killed by their husbands seemed to be going up and that brutality toward women had become “almost normal.”

Malteser International, a European aid organization that runs health clinics in eastern Congo, estimates that it will treat 8,000 sexual violence cases this year, compared with 6,338 last year. The organization said that in one town, Shabunda, 70 percent of the women reported being sexually brutalized.

At Panzi Hospital, where Dr. Mukwege performs as many as six rape-related surgeries a day, bed after bed is filled with women lying on their backs, staring at the ceiling, with colostomy bags hanging next to them because of all the internal damage.

“I still have pain and feel chills,” said Kasindi Wabulasa, a patient who was raped in February by five men. The men held an AK-47 rifle to her husband’s chest and made him watch, telling him that if he closed his eyes, they would shoot him. When they were finished, Ms. Wabulasa said, they shot him anyway.

In almost all the reported cases, the culprits are described as young men with guns, and in the deceptively beautiful hills here, there is no shortage of them: poorly paid and often mutinous government soldiers; homegrown militias called the Mai-Mai who slick themselves with oil before marching into battle; members of paramilitary groups originally from Uganda and Rwanda who have destabilized this area over the past 10 years in a quest for gold and all the other riches that can be extracted from Congo’s exploited soil.

The attacks go on despite the presence of the largest United Nations peacekeeping force in the world, with more than 17,000 troops.

Few seem to be spared. Dr. Mukwege said his oldest patient was 75, his youngest 3.

“Some of these girls whose insides have been destroyed are so young that they don’t understand what happened to them,” Dr. Mukwege said. “They ask me if they will ever be able to have children, and it’s hard to look into their eyes.”

No one — doctors, aid workers, Congolese and Western researchers — can explain exactly why this is happening.

“That is the question,” said André Bourque, a Canadian consultant who works with aid groups in eastern Congo. “Sexual violence in Congo reaches a level never reached anywhere else. It is even worse than in Rwanda during the genocide.”

Impunity may be a contributing factor, Mr. Bourque added, saying that very few of the culprits are punished.

Many Congolese aid workers denied that the problem was cultural and insisted that the widespread rapes were not the product of something ingrained in the way men treated women in Congolese society. “If that were the case, this would have showed up long ago,” said Wilhelmine Ntakebuka, who coordinates a sexual violence program in Bukavu.

Instead, she said, the epidemic of rapes seems to have started in the mid-1990s. That coincides with the waves of Hutu militiamen who escaped into Congo’s forests after exterminating 800,000 Tutsis and moderate Hutus during Rwanda’s genocide 13 years ago.

Mr. Holmes said that while government troops might have raped thousands of women, the most vicious attacks had been carried out by Hutu militias.

“These are people who were involved with the genocide and have been psychologically destroyed by it,” he said.

Mr. Bourque called this phenomenon “reversed values” and said it could develop in heavily traumatized areas that had been steeped in conflict for many years, like eastern Congo.

This place, one of the greenest, hilliest and most scenic slices of central Africa, continues to reverberate from the aftershocks of the genocide next door. Take the recent fighting near Bukavu between the Congolese Army and Laurent Nkunda, a dissident general who commands a formidable rebel force. Mr. Nkunda is a Congolese Tutsi who has accused the Congolese Army of supporting Hutu militias, which the army denies. Mr. Nkunda says his rebel force is simply protecting Tutsi civilians from being victimized again.

But his men may be no better.

Willermine Mulihano said she was raped twice — first by Hutu militiamen two years ago and then by Nkunda soldiers in July. Two soldiers held her legs apart, while three others took turns violating her.

“When I think about what happened,” she said, “I feel anxious and brokenhearted.”

She is also lonely. Her husband divorced her after the first rape, saying she was diseased.

In some cases, the attacks are on civilians already caught in the cross-fire between warring groups. In one village near Bukavu where 27 women were raped and 18 civilians killed in May, the attackers left behind a note in broken Swahili telling the villagers that the violence would go on as long as government troops were in the area.

The United Nations peacekeepers here seem to be stepping up efforts to protect women.

Recently, they initiated what they call “night flashes,” in which three truckloads of peacekeepers drive into the bush and keep their headlights on all night as a signal to both civilians and armed groups that the peacekeepers are there. Sometimes, when morning comes, 3,000 villagers are curled up on the ground around them.

But the problem seems bigger than the resources currently devoted to it.

Panzi Hospital has 350 beds, and though a new ward is being built specifically for rape victims, the hospital sends women back to their villages before they have fully recovered because it needs space for the never-ending stream of new arrivals.

Dr. Mukwege, 52, said he remembered the days when Bukavu was known for its stunning lake views and nearby national parks, like Kahuzi-Biega.

“There used to be a lot of gorillas in there,” he said. “But now they’ve been replaced by much more savage beasts.”

Pining...

"Soon I fell asleep, overcome with fatigue and delight.  In dreams of unspeakable joy - of restored friendships; of revived embraces; of love which said it had never died; of faces that had vanished long ago, yet said with smiling lips that they knew nothing of the grave; of pardons implored, and granted with such bursting floods of love, that I was almost glad I had sinned - thus I passed through this wondrous twilight.  I awoke with the feeling that I had been kissed and loved to my heart's content; and found that my boat was floating motionless by the grassy shore of a little island." - Anodos, from Phantastes, by George MacDonald

Iran So Far

Perfect Remedy

I was listening to the new David Crowder Band album, Remedy, on the way to work this morning.  And, well, I won't say it's the best album of all time, but listening to it drew me into the right lane on the Garden State Parkway.  Yes, that's right, I was compelled to drive in the slow lane because I wanted to bask in the glory of this music for as long as possible.  I even hoped that exit 131 would magically disappear from the face of this good state.

If God is going to choose a lineup of praise leaders in heaven, Mr. Crowder and his band must be on the list.

The music does what all good music should do: it made me feel infinite...infinitely loved, infinitely hopeful, infinitely humbled, infinitely unworthy, infinitely joyful, and infinitely sorrowful.

The one song that I love more than any other right now is "The Glory Of It All," the first track on the CD.  It is absolutely wonderful, the perfect remedy to all I've been suffocated by lately.  Whenever I listen to it, my throat tightens up, my palms sweat, and I want to sell all I have, leave everyone and everything behind, sprint into a deep forest, and fall prostrate before my Beloved, gripping his ankles with my trembling hands, with tears in my eyes and words of repentance, gratitude and adoration flowing off the tip of my wretched tongue...forever.

I long for each and every word in this song, more than anything else in the world right now.

I'm pining.  I don't want to be the same.

---

David Crowder Band - The Glory Of It All

At the start
He was there
He was there
In the end
He'll be there
He'll be there
And after all
Our hands have wrought
He forgives

Oh, the glory of it all
Is He came here
For the rescue of us all
That we may live
For the glory of it all
Oh, the glory of it all

All is lost
Find Him there
Find Him there
After night
Dawn is there
Dawn is there
And after all
Falls apart
He repairs
He repairs

Oh, He is here
With redemption from the fall
That we may live
For the glory of it all
Oh, the glory of it all

After night
Comes a light
Dawn is here
Dawn is here
It's a new day, a new day
Oh, everything will change
Things will never be the same
We will never be the same

Oh, everything will change
Things will never be the same
We will never be same

Books, Controversy and Erudition

Well, if life is a reflection of the Bible, then I am stuck in Ecclesiastes right now.

I guess different people have different means of coping with their Ecclesiastes seasons. Some splurge on clothes, some gorge themselves with all kinds of delightful foods, while some drink themselves into oblivion. As for me, I think that I buy books.

In the past four weeks, I've purchased the following books:

- Wild at Heart, by John Eldredge (read)
- Phantastes, by George MacDonald (currently reading)
- Sir Gibbie, by George MacDonald
- The Princess and the Goblin, by George MacDonald
- The Everlasting Man, by G.K. Chesterton
- Walden, by Henry David Thoreau
- Fooled by Randomness, by Nassim Nicholas Taleb
- Stumbling on Happiness, by Daniel Gilbert
- Suite Francaise, by Irene Nemirovsky

This is not to mention the few books that I already have in possession and desire to read, along with a list of other books that I shall purchase as soon as I complete this list.

It's funny how the things I once abhorred are now the things I take solace and even joy in.

---

Has anyone been following the recent capers of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? Call me a sucker for hype, but he interests me. Don't take that to mean that I admire the man or back his beliefs. He just amuses me for some odd reason, in the same way that he seems to be amused whenever he is questioned about his outrageous stances on touchy issues.

During a bathroom stop today I thought about his whole visit to Columbia and pondered two things:

1. It's never as much about what someone is saying as it is about who is saying it. This must have been a big part of why Jesus conjured up such a storm, because what he said and who he was were one in the same.

2. I wonder why God chose the time he did to deliver Jesus into that manger. The president of Iran comes to New York City and causes an uproar not only in the physical locations he was at, but online, on the radio waves, on television, and in countless conversations across the world. There are so many outlets for the discussion and dissemination of information nowadays, which makes it so much easier for someone to get their message out, regardless of its content or absurdity. But Jesus came at a time when the Internet, radio, television, and the quick transmission of information by any means did not exist. Why?

I can only conclude that it was to take away any doubt whatsoever that the spread of the gospel was God's work, not man's.

---

Lastly, for all of you out there who love to learn, I recommend this site.

Cheers.

Oh, Gravity...

John Mayer - Gravity

Phatastic Quotes

I've been reading a lot lately.  Well, a lot for me...which probably isn't all that much for a lot of other people out there.  I'm currently reading Phantastes by George MacDonald.  I chose to read this because C.S. Lewis pointed this book out as one of the more influential books he read when he was younger.  I wanted to see what would impress Clive Staples, and though I'm only halfway through, I can already see why he liked this book so much.

It's a pure joy to see someone express such deep truths in the context of a fairytale.

I won't try to summarize the book or anything, but here are some lines from the book that stood out to me.

"Ah! that is always the way with you men; you believe nothing the first time; and it is foolish enough to let mere repetition convince you of what you consider in itself unbelievable."

"For there is an old prophecy in our woods that one day we shall all be men and women like you.  Do you know anything about it in your region? Shall I be very happy when I am a woman? I fear not, for it is always in nights like these that I feel like one.  But I long to be a woman for all that."

"Oh, no.  They are all disagreeable selfish creatures--(what horrid men they will make, if it be true!)--but this one has a hole in his heart that nobody knows of but one or two; and he is always trying to fill it up, but he cannot.  That must be what he wanted you for.  I wonder if he will ever be a man.  If he is, I hope they will kill him."

"What distressed me most--more even than my own folly--was the perplexing question, How can beauty and ugliness dwell so near?  Even with her altered complexion and her face of dislike; disenchanted of the belief that clung around her; known for a living, walking sepulchre, faithless, deluding, traitorous; I felt, notwithstanding all this, that she was beautiful."

""Very true! you speak like a sensible man, sir.  We have but few sensible folks round about us.  Now, you would hardly credit it, but my wife believes every fairy-tale that ever was written.  I cannot account for it.  She is a most sensible woman in everything else."
  "But should not that make you treat her belief with something of respect, though you cannot share in it yourself?"
  "Yes, that is all very well in theory; but when you come to live every day in the midst of absurdity, it is far less easy to behave respectfully to it."

"Afterwards I learned, that the best way to manage some kinds of painful thoughts, is to dare them to do their worst; to let them lie and gnaw at your heart till they are tired; and you find you still have a residue of life they cannot kill."

"Why are all reflections lovelier than what we call the reality?--not so grand or so strong, it may be, but always lovelier? Fair as is the gliding sloop on the shining sea, the wavering, trembling, unresting sail below is fairer still.  Yea, the reflecting ocean itself, reflected in the mirror, has a wondrousness about its waters that somewhat vanishes when I turn towards itself.  All mirrors are magic mirrors.  The commonest room is a room in a poem when I turn to the glass.  (And this reminds me, while I write, of a strange story which I read in the fairy palace, and of which I will try to make a feeble memorial in its place.)  In whatever way it may be accounted for, of one thing we may be sure, that this feeling is no cheat; for there is no cheating in nature and the simple unsought feelings of the soul.  There must be a truth involved in it, though we may but in part lay hold of the meaning.  Even the memories of past pain are beautiful; and past delights, though beheld only through clefts in the grey clouds of sorrow, are lovely as Fairy Land.  But how have I wandered into the deeper fairyland of the soul, while as yet I only float towards the fairy palace of Fairy Land! The moon, which is the lovelier memory or reflex of the down-gone sun, the joyous day seen in the faint mirror of the brooding night, had rapt me away."

"As in all sweetest music, a tinge of sadness was in every note.  Nor do we know how much of the pleasures even of life we owe to the intermingled sorrows.  Joy cannot unfold the deepest truths, although deepest truth must be deepest joy.  Cometh white-robed Sorrow, stooping and wan, and flingeth wide the doors she may not enter.  Almost we linger with Sorrow for every love."

It's that time of year again...

If you'd like to join my fantasy NBA league, please go here and join league ID 4074, password "Jesus."

Here's the info on the league:

League ID#:	4074
League Name:	The League
Password:	Jesus
Custom League URL:	http://basketball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/league/the_league
Draft Type:	Live Draft
Draft Time:	Sat Oct 20 8:00pm EDT
Max Teams:	20
Scoring Type:	Head-to-Head
Max Moves:	No maximum
Max Trades:	No maximum
Trade Reject Time:	2
Trade End Date:	No trade deadline
Waiver Time:	2 days
Can't Cut List Provider:	Yahoo! Sports
Trade Review:	League Votes
Post Draft Players:	Follow Waiver Rules
Weekly Deadline:	Weekly on Monday
Start Scoring on:	Week 1
Roster Positions:	PG, SG, G, SF, PF, F, C, Util, Util, BN, BN, BN
Stat Categories:	FG%, FT%, 3PTM, 3PT%, PTS, OREB, DREB, AST, ST, BLK, TO

For those who don't like to read, basically it's an 11-category head-to-head league, live draft on Saturday October 20 at 8 p.m., roster updates once a week by Monday.

Let me know if you have any questions.

Prepare to get whupped.

Dear God,

Sometimes

  your grace

    suffocates



                                                    me.

Follow-Through

Now, I think I know what you're talking about with the follow-through, but people are going to ask: Why does what you do after you have released the ball affect whether or not it goes in the basket?

Focusing on the finish, and what you're doing after the shot, forces you to complete the proper mechanics when the ball is in your hands. Common shooting flaws include letting the ball release before your arm is fully extended, "pulling the string," walking away at the end of the shot, or not balancing yourself. If you're intent on a good, solid, end of your shot, those things take care of themselves. It makes you attentive to start and middle.

---

"If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this." - C.S. Lewis

---

"Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither." - C.S. Lewis

---

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." - Matthew 6:33

Job 16:19-21

19 Even now my witness is in heaven;
       my advocate is on high.

 20 My intercessor is my friend
       as my eyes pour out tears to God;

 21 on behalf of a man he pleads with God
       as a man pleads for his friend.

Psalm 77

In the Day of Trouble I Seek the Lord

To the choirmaster: according to Jeduthun. A Psalm of Asaph.

1I cry aloud to God,
aloud to God, and he will hear me.
2In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord;
in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying;
my soul refuses to be comforted.
3When I remember God, I moan;
when I meditate, my spirit faints. Selah
4You hold my eyelids open;
I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
5I consider the days of old,
the years long ago.
6I said, “Let me remember my song in the night;
let me meditate in my heart.”
Then my spirit made a diligent search:
7“Will the Lord spurn forever,
and never again be favorable?
8Has his steadfast love forever ceased?
Are his promises at an end for all time?
9Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has he in anger shut up his compassion?” Selah
10Then I said, “I will appeal to this,
to the years of the right hand of the Most High.”
11I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
yes, I will remember your wonders of old.
12I will ponder all your work,
and meditate on your mighty deeds.
13Your way, O God, is holy.
What god is great like our God?
14You are the God who works wonders;
you have made known your might among the peoples.
15You with your arm redeemed your people,
the children of Jacob and Joseph. Selah
16When the waters saw you, O God,
when the waters saw you, they were afraid;
indeed, the deep trembled.
17The clouds poured out water;
the skies gave forth thunder;
your arrows flashed on every side.
18The crash of your thunder was in the whirlwind;
your lightnings lighted up the world;
the earth trembled and shook.
19Your way was through the sea,
your path through the great waters;
yet your footprints were unseen.
20You led your people like a flock
by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

Read About Uber Street

* This is where I was last week.  I'm elated that it's getting some press exposure.  Thanks to Jamie.

Teaching tolerance in the street

Day camp creates safe haven for North Phila. children.

By Vernon Clark

Inquirer Staff Writer

The Rev. Taehoo Lee , a Temple University instructor and Baptist minister who lives a few blocks away, organized the camp. He hopes to launch a neighborhood after-school program next.

» More images

For young children in North Philadelphia, it's a way to have fun and learn a few things in the waning weeks of summer.

Yet for the 43 mostly Asian volunteers of the three-week "play street" program in the 2100 block of Uber Street, it's a way to bridge communities, spread Christian faith, and reach out to a neighborhood in need.

"We believe the Gospel should have an impact in the community," said the Rev. Taehoo Lee, who organized the Uber Street Summer Camp. "It should have an impact for the betterment of the community."

Lee, a Temple University instructor and Baptist minister who lives a few blocks away, said the Uber Street program engages children ages 4 to 13 in activities including arts and crafts, martial arts, African American history, and Bible study. The free program, in its second year under Lee's leadership, runs from July 31 to Aug. 18.

As about 40 children used colored chalk to draw pictures on the asphalt of this tree-lined street yesterday morning, Lee said the goal was to provide a safe and fun place for children to play and learn in the summer.

He said the program also brings together Asian Americans and African Americans in new ways.

The majority of the 43 volunteers at the camp are Asian Americans. Thirty-one are from a church in Flushing, N.Y., and five are from a church in North Haledon in North Jersey.

Lee said that most people in North Philadelphia know Koreans and other Asian Americans only as merchants who come to the black community to operate delis and other shops.

The Uber Street Summer Camp "breaks stereotypical ideas about African Americans and Koreans," Lee said. "This breaks down walls between two communities."

The volunteers "come here and see a different face of African Americans, and the community sees Asian Americans in a different light," Lee said.

Hanna Chung, a Chicago native who is volunteering in the program this summer, said neighbors had embraced the program and its workers.

"I was surprised with how welcoming the community has been," Chung said. "The neighbors see this as a good program."

Nick Foster, 70, a resident of the block for close to a decade, said the summer camp program had been good for the neighborhood.

"I think it's nice for the kids. We need it more often," Foster said. "It helps keep them out of trouble. I look out my door and they are enjoying themselves."

Lee said the "play street" program was originally operated by community resident Michael Riley, whom he befriended when Lee moved to the neighborhood.

"He wanted to have some program that could engage the children," Lee said.

Lee said he and Riley planned to volunteer and provide lunch to the children, but a few months before the program was to begin, Riley died. Lee said other neighbors "stepped up in his place."

Lee said he called on high school and college students from Korean American churches and from his classes at Temple University, where he teaches an intellectual-heritage course that combines history, philosophy and other disciplines.

He said that running the program cost about $10,000 and that the money came from individual donors and churches he had contacted.

Lee said he hoped later to launch a year-round after-school program for neighborhood children.

Ann Tanner, who lives about a block away from Uber Street and whose grandchildren attend the camp, said the race of the volunteers didn't matter.

"It's not about their race. The kids just love them," Tanner said. "This is the best thing that could happen to our kids."

John Piper's Hatred for the Prosperity Gospel

KG, Bonds, and Angels

There have been quite a few big sports stories lately.  Two that stand out to me right now are Kevin Garnett's arrival in Boston and Barry Bonds' pursuit of 756 (which I am watching right now).  Both stories are significant and spark a lot of thoughts, opinions, and chatter.  I'm sure the words "Did you hear..." and "What do you think about..." have been said a lot concerning these two stories.

And rightfully so.  Both KG and Bonds are currently in buzzworthy positions.

Then I got to thinking...

I wonder what the angels said to one another when Christ was born, crucified, and resurrected.

Let me throw in a Bible verse:

And they were calling to one another:
“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty;
the whole earth is full of his glory.”
  - Isaiah 6:3

The interesting part of that verse is that the seraphs call "to one another" when they say "Holy, holy, holy..."

I like to think that whenever humans talk with one another in amazement, excitement, or awe about something, it is a slight reflection of what the angels do.

I can imagine how astounded they were when Jesus was born in a manger as a baby, and how they must have prattled with one another with wide eyes.

I can also imagine how mournful they must have been when Jesus was crucified on the cross, and how they must have wailed with one another with tearful eyes.

I can imagine how ecstatic they must have been when Jesus rose again three days later, and how they must have shouted together with praises filled with joy, adoration, and astonishment, taking hold of each other, embracing one another, and jumping up and down with hands raised.  Boston Celtics fans must have tasted a glimpse of this when KG's arrival was announced.

And I can also imagine how the devil and his cronies must have cried foul when Christ was raised again, accusing God of cheating with infinitely more vehemence than those who currently accuse Bonds of breaking the rules of baseball.

Am I way off on this?  Is this speculation a bit much?  Maybe.

But two things are certain:

1. "...there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." - Luke 15:10

2. I want to experience angels' joy.

"Concerning this salvation, the prophets, who spoke of the grace that was to come to you, searched intently and with the greatest care, trying to find out the time and circumstances to which the Spirit of Christ in them was pointing when he predicted the sufferings of Christ and the glories that would follow. It was revealed to them that they were not serving themselves but you, when they spoke of the things that have now been told you by those who have preached the gospel to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. Even angels long to look into these things." - 1 Peter 1:10-12 (emphasis added)

We Are Billboards

I was driving home tonight and on the way I passed a big, tall billboard advertising Sprite. It struck midnight exactly and suddenly the lights shining on the billboard turned off. Obviously, I could no longer see the billboard.

Then I thought about how angry the advertiser (in this case, Coca-Cola) would be if they ever found out that their billboard was unlit at night because the lights shining on it suddenly shut off.

Then I thought about how angry God is whenever his billboards (namely, Christians) are unseen or shrouded by darkness in this world.

In Matthew 6, Jesus talks about how hypocrites pray and fast in order to be seen by men. However, he urges his followers to take the opposite route by praying behind closed doors and keeping a healthy appearance when they fast.

There are many people (yes, even Christians) who struggle with this idea. They can't help but to put themselves in positions where their good deeds and lives can be seen by the light of the acknowledgment they receive from their fellow man. And if they are not acknowledged for their goodness? Well, as I assume Coca-Cola would be, they get frustrated and angry. For these people, Jesus says "they have received their reward in full."

(Of course, this set of people must include those who, by way of specious humility, garner the attention of others.)

Then there are those rare people (yes, even Christians) who are somehow able to embrace this idea. They genuinely heed Christ's warning in Matthew 6 and turn their faces from the approval of men and instead trust that God acknowledges them and will treat them accordingly.

But now I wonder what God "feels" about this. If God is glorified in and through his saints, then surely he must be "frustrated" and "angry" at the fact that his glory is stifled, being hidden from men, thereby preventing them from being convinced of his reality and holiness and turning their hearts to glorify him as well?

Does God see his unacknowledged, behind-closed-door saints as glorious billboards hidden by darkness and veiled to the eyes of the people on this earth, his creations? If he does, surely there must be some kind of righteous, fist-pounding, nostril-flaring fury that is "felt."

Though I am irreverently attributing human emotions to our Lord that restrict his glory and God-ness, I do so only to try to make a point: that I believe wholeheartedly that our God is burning to see his saints glorified, that he is "impatient" for that day, and that he looks forward to it more than we ever will or could...not only because of the fact that that day will be like floodgates opening up and unleashing infinite, mighty, and august torrents of worship and praise directed solely and wholly at him, but also because his beloved children will finally be lit up and acknowledged by the one whose recognition they have been pining for all their lives, whether they knew it or not.

In a sense, that day will be a wonderful, culminating fulfillment and completion for all parties involved.

There must be no lingering doubt in any Christian that their Father desires anything less than to have his people's righteous deeds and lives recognized by all. Though this fallen world is filled with darkness, blindness, and curtains that will prevent this, there will come a day when all of that is reversed, when God is finally and fully acknowledged by his creation, and when he finally reveals his unveiled acknowledgment of his saints.

One day, the curtains will draw back and the Author will walk onto the stage...

"Why is God landing in this enemy-occupied world in disguise and starting a sort of secret society to undermine the devil? Why is He not landing in force, invading it? Is it that He is not strong enough? Well, Christians think He is going to land in force; we do not know when. But we can guess why He is delaying. He wants to give us the chance of joining His side freely. I do not suppose you and I would have thought much of a Frenchman who waited till the Allies were marching into Germany and then announced he was on our side. God will invade. But I wonder whether people who ask God to interfere openly and directly in our world quite realise what it will be like when He does. When that happens, it is the end of the world. When the author walks on to the stage the play is over. God is going to invade, all right: but what is the good of saying you are on His side then, when you see the whole natural universe melting away like a dream and something else—something it never entered your head to conceive—comes crashing in; something so beautiful to some of us and so terrible to others that none of us will have any choice left? For this time it will be God without disguise; something so overwhelming that it will strike either irresistible love or irresistible horror into every creature. It will be too late then to choose your side. There is no use saying you choose to lie down when it has become impossible to stand up. That will not be the time for choosing: it will be the time when we discover which side we really have chosen, whether we realised it before or not. Now, today, this moment, is our chance to choose the right side. God is holding back to give us that chance. It will not last for ever. We must take it or leave it." - C.S. Lewis

Prayer

Master, they say that when I seem
To be in speech with you,
Since you make no replies, it’s all a dream
--One talker aping two.

They are half right, but not as they
Imagine; rather, I
Seek in myself the things I meant to say,
And lo! The wells are dry.

Then, seeing me empty, you forsake
The Listener’s role, and through
My dead lips breathe and into utterance wake
The thoughts I never knew.

And thus you neither need reply
Nor can; thus, while we seem
Two talking, thou are One forever, and I
No dreamer, but thy dream.

- "Prayer" by C.S. Lewis

Self-Image

"Pleasant words are a honeycomb,
       sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."
  - Proverbs 23:24

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art...It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival." - C.S. Lewis

"Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives." - C.S. Lewis

"Without the gospel, your self-image is based upon living up to some standards – whether yours or someone’s imposed upon you. If you live up to those standards, you will be confident but not humble. If you don’t live up to them, you will be humble but not confident. Only in the gospel can you be both enormously bold and utterly sensitive and humble. For you are both perfect and a sinner!" - Dr. Tim Keller

Bitter Death

I listened to a Tim Keller sermon the other day and he brought up an interesting point. Dr. Keller said that Jesus was the only person ever to choose death. He admitted that there are, of course, many noble people who have died voluntarily, but they did not really choose death itself; they merely chose when they would meet death. For humans death is inevitable and unavoidable, so we have no choice in dying. Instead, we can only choose when we want to meet that end. For Christ, God incarnate, death is anything but inevitable and unavoidable, so death must be a deliberate and heavy choice.

Christ's death was wholly voluntary, and I believe that he embraced and experienced death to its fullest extent. There will never be another who will feel the most blatant experience of death in its truest form than he.

Matthew 27:34 says, "There they offered Jesus wine to drink, mixed with gall; but after tasting it, he refused to drink it."

This verse struck me, because it seemed inconsistent with the Jesus we are shown everywhere else in the gospels. In countless places Jesus reads people's thoughts, emotions, and even their pasts. So, in verse 34, are we really supposed to believe that Christ didn't know something as simple as the fact that the wine he was offered was mixed with gall? Did he really have to taste it to find that out?

My take on this is that he knew that the wine was mixed with gall. I think that this seemingly small occurrence speaks volumes about who Jesus was and what he did.

Now, I'm probably being a little speculative here, but I think that Jesus voluntarily chose to taste the bitter wine mixed with gall in order to fully taste the bitterness of death. Verse 34 displays his full and inexorable surrender and embrace of death and all its bitterness, to the point where he would physically taste its acerbity in order to fully "taste" death for himself, and maybe even to show us his steadfast willingness and commitment to this cup, which was not taken from him.

He could have easily refused the wine mixed with gall before tasting it and still accomplished the wonderful work on Calvary, but he still chose to taste it.

(This is a stretch, but could the wine and gall in verse 34 be figuratively related to the "cup" that Jesus references to in Matthew 25:42, where he prays "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done"?)

What Dr. Keller said and what verse 34 seems to tell me convey the same thing. They both amplify the truth that Jesus fully accepted his fate, his death, and our punishment. He really, truly chose death, and chose to taste it in all its bitterness, for us.

When I think about this, I really find myself at a loss for words.

On a related note, I just read what is now my favorite poem of all time. It's called The Ballad of Reading Gaol, by Oscar Wilde. It is quite long, but it tells a story of a man's impending hanging from the perspective of a fellow inmate. (Wilde actually spent two years at Reading Prison, and signs the poem "C.3.3," which was his prisoner identification there. You can read more about the background behind this poem here.) I like it because it uses some rhyming patterns, and the story moved me greatly. If you want to read it, you can do so here. (It's quite long.)

I will end this post with a few great lines (there are so many) from the poem which seemed fitting for the topic at hand.

Alas! it is a fearful thing
To feel another’s guilt!
For, right within, the sword of Sin
Pierced to its poisoned hilt,
And as molten lead were the tears we shed
For the blood we had not spilt.

The warders with their shoes of felt
Crept by each padlocked door,
And peeped and saw, with eyes of awe,
Gray figures on the floor,
And wondered why men knelt to pray
Who never prayed before.

All through the night we knelt and prayed,
Mad mourners of a corse!
The troubled plumes of midnight shook
Like the plumes upon a hearse:
And as bitter wine upon a sponge
Was the savour of Remorse.

. . .

Ah! happy they whose hearts can break
And peace of pardon win!
How else may man make straight his plan
And cleanse his soul from Sin?
How else but through a broken heart
May Lord Christ enter in?

. . .

For only blood can wipe out blood,
And only tears can heal:
And the crimson stain that was of Cain
Became Christ's snow-white seal.

Toynbee & Lewis

"It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it." - Arnold Toynbee

---

"Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither." - C.S. Lewis

Consumed By...

A dead deer has been lying on the side of a street near my house for the past few days.  When I drive with my windows down I can smell its stench.

When I think about it, it almost concerns me that I do not feel much, if any sorrow at all that this deer (which looks young) had its life cut short at the hands of a human driving a metallic monster.

This apathy towards death is not something foreign to me, nor is it something that is isolated to dead animals.  It extends towards humans, too.

Every time I hear or see something about a death on the news I think about how unfortunate it is, but rarely do I feel emotionally stirred by it.  Even when the mass murders at Virginia Tech occurred, though I felt shock, horror, and sorrow, it was all a bit muted because of my distance from the events...not just physical distance, but emotional and relational distance from the massacre.

Yes, even on 9/11 I only felt this muted sense of sorrow, despite living less than 1.5 miles from ground zero.

Of course, the matter takes on a different form when a death that is near to me occurs.  I thank God that I have not had to mourn a close family member's death yet, but when my dog died I genuinely felt true sorrow.  For a while after his death I really did mourn and felt such a precise and stunning pain, but even then I could not embrace the mourning and sorrow as much as I wanted to.  I don't really know how to explain it, but when I mourned I wanted to be completely consumed by it, even if it would just be for a day or two, but preferably for much longer.  I felt that was the only way I could really agonize.  But I was never wholly consumed...very nearly, but not completely.

In fact, when tragic events do occur, I think that I feel just as much frustration as sorrow because I find that I can never fully allow myself to be consumed...as strange as it is to type that, I think it's true.

If I allow myself the license to let my thoughts wander a bit, I think that this separation from sorrow, this dullness to it, is the result of the fall.  When sin entered the world through the fall, "I" became the most important person to each of us.  A hateful stake was driven in between not only man and God, but between man and his fellow earthly companions, and that division means that we become effectually separated from each other..mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.  This, I think, is the reason why our mourning, sympathy, and empathy for others' sorrows will never be whole and all-consuming while we are on this earth.  It will always be the slightest bit dulled.  We will never be able to perfectly empathize with someone's pains (and even their joys) because we are still "I."  So long as "I" remains intact, sorrows can never take a genuine hold on us.

And this is why I think I feel such frustration at not being able to sufficiently mourn with my fellow humans when they experience pain, loss, and death.  We are all born of the same flesh, yet we are always being driven further and further apart because of sIn.

No matter how much I can try, try, try to be consumed by another's sorrow and their condition, I cannot.

Thank God that he did not only try to be consumed, but actually allowed himself to be wholly consumed by our condition, sorrow, and even death for us, so that we would only be wholly consumed by joy.

And because of that, I believe that heaven will be a place where those dividing stakes will be plucked from our midsts (can you see it happening already?), and we will return to being one body that perfectly feels (for) each other.  Since "sorrow and sighing will flee away," we won't even have to worry about sufficiently experiencing each other's pains, but only each other's joys, and since all of our joys will be realized and met in Jesus Christ, we will be experiencing our Lord and Savior fully and perfectly, forever.  Imagine that...experiencing infinite and eternal joy...

What a beautiful future we have!

We were made for God.  Only by being in some respect like Him, only by being a manifestation of His beauty, lovingkindness, wisdom or goodness, has any earthly Beloved excited our love.  It is not that we have loved them too much, but that we did not quite understand what we were loving.  It is not that we shall be asked to turn from them, so dearly familiar, to a Stranger.  When we see the face of God we shall know that we have always known it.  He has been a party to, has made, sustained and moved moment by moment within, all our earthly experiences of innocent love.  All that was true love in them was, even on earth, far more His than ours, and ours only because His.  In Heaven there will be no anguish and no duty of turning away from our earthly Beloveds.  First, because we shall have turned already; from the portraits to the Original, from the rivulets to the Fountain, from the creatures He made lovable to Love Himself.  But secondly, because we shall find them all in Him.  By loving Him more than them we shall love them more than we now do.  - C.S. Lewis

"Hoping to Goodness"

Knocked Up (With Love)

I saw the film 'Knocked Up' twice this week, and I think it's a very good movie. I mean, it's quite vulgar, and I hope that teenagers don't get the idea that having unprotected intercourse will end up fine and dandy, but it's a solid film. It's a great blend of comedy (consistent like dough in bread, not like blueberries in a blueberry muffin...wait, did I make sense?) with a substantial storyline that is steered almost flawlessly by the actors. I really liked this movie.

(By the way, the most underrated scene involves Ryan Seacrest. There's no way he was acting that.)

There were loads of great scenes, but the hotel room scene with the five chairs was definitely one of the standouts. It wasn't just hilarious, but I really think that in their drugged out state, Ben and Pete actually experienced a significant moment of clarity and understanding. As ironic as that is, I really think that's what made this scene so special.

I want to discuss Pete's epiphany. While he was freaking out about the chairs in the hotel room, Pete realizes (out loud) that the reason why his marriage is in trouble is the fact that his wife loves him.

"The biggest problem in our marriage is that she wants me around. And I can't even accept that? I don't think I can accept pure love," he says.

I really liked this part of the script. Not only did it strangely make complete sense for Pete's situation (and I'm sure many relationships/marriages), but it makes sense for those of us who aren't even in relationships or married.

It seems to me that the main, foundational, driving reason why Christians struggle in their faith is the fact that they cannot accept "pure love" and what it entails.

What I think I mean is that because God's love is perfect, it demands us. It does not demand anything of us, but it demands us. God wants us around.

But this is the problem for us, isn't it? Because we are sinful we do not want God around so much. Yes, we desire his hand in our lives when we are in need, and of course there are many times when we genuinely desire him. However, we always seem to draw lines around the areas of our lives that he can totally possess.

Our Lord always wants to speak with us (with, not just to), he is always waiting for us to share our thoughts and troubles and joys with him, he is always desiring to have us fully...not only because we are rightfully his, but because in his perfect love he desires our very best.

Oswald Chambers said, "The great enemy of the life of faith in God is not sin, but the good which is not good enough. The good is always the enemy of the best."

Because we desire God's good we think that is enough. We turn our backs to him whenever he tries to offer us his best...namely, himself. We have no problem accepting his gifts, but we do have a problem accepting him.

Do you need proof of his love? Do you need a visual example of how much he loves us? Look no further than the cross, where Christ died for us so that we might experience the perfect love of our Father. Still, for whatever reasons, we turn our backs on what that perfect love offers us.

For me, the most practical thing this boils down to is my time. Yes, I have work and various other obligations. But do I spurn my Father with the time I have left? I know he wants to spend time with me because he has great things to say and show to me, but for some reason that's a problem for me. To be honest, there are many days where I won't spend more than 10-20 minutes reading the Bible or praying. And still I feel somewhat smothered by God's love and desire to spend time with me. It becomes an inconvenience to me.

I am like Pete. The biggest problem in my relationship with God is that he wants me around.

This old man in me, this sinful vestige is harnessing me to this wretched state. I don't say that to clear me of blame, but that is an undeniable fact. The old, sinful man in me cannot accept God's pure love...yet. I am looking forward to the day when that will change.

For now, I put my hope in (wouldn't you know it?) that perfect love of our Lord, because I know in it there is forgiveness, mercy, and a sure promise of progress and eventual perfection in the years to come.

Why do you mean so much to me? Help me to find words to explain. Why do I mean so much to you, that you should command me to love you? And if I fail to love you, you are angry and threaten me with great sorrow, as if not to love you were not sorrow enough in itself. Have pity on me and help me, O Lord my God. Tell me why you mean so much to me. - Saint Augustine

Dino-Riders!

Okay, you either get this one or you don't...but for your sake I really hope you do!

Dino-Riders!

I can't even put into words the thick feelings of nostalgia this strikes into me...

Cheering At Yourself

I notice this at just about every sporting event I attend or watch on television: there is always that break in the game where a camera pans the sea of fans and conveys its view on the big JumboTron.  Virtually every time, the fans who are lucky enough to get face time on the JumboTron start cheering like crazy...at the JumboTron.  Consequently, these fans start cheering at themselves, making for an awkward image for everyone else watching.

Yes, it is one of the most illogical and humorous things a human can do.  Of course, it's reasonable to expect this to happen since the fans usually only get a few seconds to cheer while they're on the JumboTron and it's difficult for someone to keep their wits enough about them in order to pause, extrapolate the approximate location of the camera, turn your body towards that approximate location, check the JumboTron to make sure you are correct, and then begin to cheer.  (Of course, this is speaking on behalf of the average human.  This situation might be hugely easier for a genius to process in a few nanoseconds.)

But it illustrates something that I find myself doing whenever I read the Bible, or any other writings that are meant to encourage me as a Christian.

These writings shine a wonderfully warm and awakening light on me, and after reading their words I am refreshed, renewed, and reminded.  But too often I'm like those fans cheering at the image of themselves up on the JumboTron.  I read those words, I see the nice things it says about and for me, and I cheer.  I don't pause to think about the lens through which I see myself before I respond.

That lens is, of course, Christ, without whom my vision of myself and everything around me would be distorted and ruined.

I have to learn to pause, turn towards the camera, and then cheer so that I can show my joy, appreciation, and gratitude to the viewing audience, and not just to myself.

Ask3D

The all new Ask.com is live!  Take a look at it.  I'm confident that you'll be pleased.



Here are some articles/posts about it:

WebProNews
TechCrunch
PC World
Ask.com Blog
NY Times
ZDNet
Techmeme

Pearl Jam - Yellow Ledbetter (Lyrics Interpretation)

(Courtesy of Bill Simmons, one of the greatest writers of all time.)

Speechless...

LeBron's a Flirt

THANK YOU, LEBRON JAMES.

Thank you for finally unveiling your full glory.  Thank you for taking the spotlight off of Kobe Bryant's flip-flopping meltdown.  Thank you for turning our full attention back to the NBA playoffs action happening outside of tired San Antonio.  Thank you for giving us the unexpected.  Thank you for being the most incredible 22 year-old to grace this planet.  Thank you for finding that killer instinct that you said you lacked earlier in your career  Thank you for taking over this game and this league.

THANK YOU!

Okay, all hyperboles aside, if you missed out on Game 5 of the Detroit-Cleveland series you should punch yourself in the mouth.  LeBron was absolutely amazing.  48/9/7 doesn't even begin to explain his dominance in Game 5.

If you saw the game, did you notice how quiet and downright scared the Detroit crowd was during the two overtimes, and especially on Detroit's last play with 2.2 left?  The muted crowd said it all with their silence: they were witnessing inexorable glory right in front of their eyes and they knew there was nothing anyone in that building could do about it.  That was awesome.

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I came across a kickin' site today:  The Hood Internet.  It's a site that features a bunch of awesome mashups.  One of my favorites so far is I'm A Flirt (Shoreline), which mashes R. Kelly and Broken Social Scene together.

You can watch a cool mashup video for the song that someone made below:

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Finally, on June 4th, 2007 (Monday), Ask.com will have a brand new user interface.  I've seen it and it looks really sexy.  And it's not purely aesthetic either.  The new interface will give users a fresh and improved search experience, which other big competitors are lacking.

And no, I am not getting paid to say any of this.  Other bigger, smarter, and more experienced people in the industry are already saying flattering things about it.

But seriously, on Monday, June 4th (in the afternoon I believe) be ready to take a gander at a sweet new interface on Ask.com.

At Stamina's End; Barbossa's Profundity

Our company treated us to a Friday afternoon viewing of "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End," even renting out an entire theater for ourselves.  It was quite a nice gesture, and I looked forward to it even though I was not very excited about the movie, which was getting mediocre reviews.

Well, to make a 2 hours and 45 minutes story short, I didn't like the movie.  The first two hours were saturated with twisty deals, backstabbings, and draining dialogue, which all amounted to me being quite confused.  For some movies it's okay to be confused for a bit, because after a few minutes the film will usually unravel the confusion for you and lead you to an "ah-ha" moment.  For "Pirates," the same could not be said.  I'm not exaggerating when I say that I almost fell asleep halfway through the film.

Chow Yun-Fat was wasted, Keira Knightley's frailty and tinny voice made it unbearable to see her for a third straight installment trying to be tough, and Orlando Bloom is proving that he can be nothing but an effeminate elf, and is the farthest thing from a pirate.  Even Johnny Depp's fun and humorous Jack Sparrow was kind getting lame by the end of the film.

I'll stop bashing on the movie now, because if I don't I'll probably go on for another fifty three lines.  If you've seen it, then you probably know the deal.

I give it a resounding D+.  The only thing that kept this movie afloat for me was Davy Jones (one of my favorite movie characters of all time, played by the brilliant Bill Nighy) and some nice CGI effects.

Anyhow, there was one scene that I particularly enjoyed.  (Spoiler alert.)  It was the scene where the Chinese boat had passed through an arctic sea and was riding calmly on the black water at nighttime, with the bright stars reflecting pristinely off of the sea, making it appear that the boat was floating in space.

The crew begins to become distressed at Captain Barbossa's seemingly careless guidance to Davy Jones' locker (which we find is death).  He confesses that he is lost, and the crew panics, much to his pleasure.  Barbossa smiles and says:

"You have to be lost to find a place that's never been found."

Boy oh boy, when I heard him say that line I immediately woke up from my stupor.

For those who have put their trust in Christ, I think this line says a lot.  When you are lost you are unable to guide yourself, you cease to have control over your path, and your surroundings are wholly unfamiliar to you.  I think many times, God puts you in these "lost" moments.  It may be cruel at first, and it may come in the horrible form of a loved one's death, the loss of a job, the sullying of your reputation, the crumbling of your GPA, or the confusion over your career path, among many other things.  But I really believe (from personal experience, and from countless stories in the Bible) that God leads you through these lost moments to bring you to "a place that's never been found."  Do you want to get to higher ground, greater joy, fuller fulfillment, and more intimacy?  Don't be surprised if this requires you to get lost first.

For those who do not believe in Christ, I think that it is very likely that God will make you fully aware of your lostness if he desires you to find him.  He will make it clear to you that you are lost, that you have no control over your life.  You've tried your darndest to find peace, fulfillment, and lasting joy on your own, but in the end you'll find that it's "a place that's never been found."

It's after you realize, acknowledge, and confess this fact that you begin to get "unlost."

Of course, it can't stop there.  I can get lost somewhere in Nebraska and admit it, but that doesn't help me to find my way.  I need to get help, and that is what salvation is.  It isn't political, it isn't financial, it isn't emotional.  It is the very real God hearing your confession of lostness and your plea for help, and his merciful response to save you where you are.  He does not demand that you find your way to him.  He finds his way to you.

Jesus on the cross is God's promise to save on full display for all the world to see.  At your call he will save you from whatever lostness you're in, wherever you are, and you will be found.

"You have to be lost to find a place that's never been found."