Voices and hands

Two things:

1) I don't like it when people use the words "the world tells us" as the be-all, end-all contrast to what God tells us. I deem this to be a sloppy, misleading and malignant phrase that is akin to attributing every sin to "the devil made me do it." Are we bombarded with messages that compel us to the wrong end of the spectrum? Absolutely. But to stop there and say the sources of those messages "tell us" to want, do and think anything is superficial at best and downright irresponsible at worst. What's behind those messages? Yes, money in most cases, but what else? What is that constantly buzzing irritation inside all of us? And to stop at this point and ignore our part in this receiving of notions, along with why we are drawn to what so-and-so tells us, misses the bigger picture entirely. It fails to dig out the wretched corpse inside of each of us that really does the whispering. It also leads the listener to believe that these desires are spoken into us, which is a dangerous notion to instill in any mind. Maybe I'm being too captious here, but this is a point I wanted to make. My heart and mind scream "foul!" whenever I hear that lousy phrase.

2) I had the opportunity to just sit and watch outside of a mall entrance last weekend. It was beautiful outside, the air was crisp and the bench was open.

During these several minutes, I had the chance to see parents walk into the mall with their children -- children of various ages, from toddlers to teens. What struck me most deeply was how the majority of the little children held their parents' hands, without qualms, and how most of the older children walked into the mall with their hands all to themselves. There were one or two older children who walked into the mall with their hands clasped with their mother, and part of me immediately thought: "How embarrassing."

Then I grew sad because I remember how I used to cling to my mother when I was young, and how that notion seems so beneath me now that I'm older and more mature. It made me sad because part of me wishes that I could be dependent like that again, and because I wondered if the absence of that kind of dependence made my parents sad.

After that pang of sorrow, I began to steadily traverse the downward staircase of my memory as I remembered how I used to be so dependent on God, almost naively so. I remember how much I used to cling to his every word, how "shame" was never a word that crept into my mind as I read the Bible and prayed in my school cafeteria, how I used to love him without maturity to get in the way -- and I wondered if God missed that (though I'm not sure I can rightly attribute that sentiment to him).

I want to trace my steps back and see when I stopped holding his hand.

Offensive silence

"Please hold."
























OK, I'm back.

That is an illustration of what I experienced during my time back at home. Let me explain.

During my first day at home I got a call on my home land line phone, but the caller ID showed that it was 'Out of area' and from my experience, nine times out of 10 a caller that is 'Out of area' is a telemarketer of some sort, so I did not pick up.

The caller left a message, and sure enough it was a machine caller that left this simple message: "Please hold."

When I heard the message, I literally said out loud - "Wow, how kind," before joyfully deleting the message.

I've received these types of calls before, and I'm sure many of you have as well. You pick up the phone, say "Hello?" and a machine tells you to "Please hold." Usually after that a telemarketer picks up and tries to sell you something.

Well, I don't know about you, but my first reaction when I hear a machine tell me to "Please hold," without so much as a greeting, I'm a bit offended. I find it impersonal and condescending - a killer combo.

This got me thinking - God does this too.

It's my understanding that he does this on multiple levels. On a large scale, for believers he has literally "called" us, and, thanks to our irresistible Father, we picked up. When we do, we may or may not have received an immediate communication of his desired direction for our lives. Regardless, more times than not, after he has called us, both in terms of awakening us to his grace and salvation, and in terms of our long-term life path, there is this unsettling pause, an almost frightening, and oftentimes frustrating silence about the details.

This also happens when a burden is placed squarely on our hearts. We're left with a burning desire to act, but it often takes many days, weeks, months or years for it to gain traction, for our Lord to shine his light on the good path that we should shoulder this, his burden, on.

The sad thing is, it seems to me that I too often get discouraged during these times of silence, "undirection" and holding. I eagerly respond with a "Hello?" only to hear a voice say "Please hold." And when I do, I allow myself to lose grip on...everything.

But the reason I lose my grip and sometimes end up hanging up is the fact that I forget two things: who the caller is and the fact that he has even called me at all!

For those of us who feel that we have been put on hold by God, especially after a call or burden that we fervently embraced, it's my prayer that we'll ponder these two facts, and that we'll read through the Bible to see the good company we are in (David, anyone?).

On a grander scale, and in view of the coming weekend of such importance for us, Jesus' 33 years on earth was something that many people embraced. But after his death, all of his ardent followers were, in a very real sense, put on hold for three excruciating days - three days of horrible silence.

"Please hold."

But after those three days, the silence was beautifully ended. (I would imagine that many fell away during those 72 hours... I would also imagine that many tearfully returned to God, with quivering hearts, lips and affections...joining the likes of Peter.)

May we view our holds in light of those three days and the ending of it that we are so familiar and grateful for. Surely, if God ended that terrible hold, he will end ours as well - sometimes as a smooth continuation of what was expected, and sometimes as a jarring shift in gears that takes us to beauties unforeseen.

He will return again.

(I apologize for the wordiness and convoluted thoughts here. I put these thoughts on "hold" in order to allow them to ferment a bit more in me, but I was so overwhelmed by their wine that I think it made it difficult to tame in this post. If you've read this, you're more patient than I.)

"A wonderful thing about God’s silence is that His stillness is contagious— it gets into you, causing you to become perfectly confident so that you can honestly say, "I know that God has heard me." His silence is the very proof that He has. As long as you have the idea that God will always bless you in answer to prayer, He will do it, but He will never give you the grace of His silence. If Jesus Christ is bringing you into the understanding that prayer is for the glorifying of His Father, then He will give you the first sign of His intimacy— silence." - Oswald Chambers