FORGIVENESS, NOT VENGEANCE

Then the Spirit of God clothed Zechariah the son of Jehoiada the priest, and he stood above the people, and said to them, “Thus says God, ‘Why do you break the commandments of the LORD, so that you cannot prosper? Because you have forsaken the LORD, he has forsaken you.’” But they conspired against him, and by command of the king they stoned him with stones in the court of the house of the LORD. Thus Joash the king did not remember the kindness that Jehoiada, Zechariah's father, had shown him, but killed his son. And when he was dying, he said, “May the LORD see and avenge! (2 Chronicles 24:20-22)

Two others, who were criminals, were led away to be put to death with him. And when they came to the place that is called The Skull, there they crucified him, and the criminals, one on his right and one on his left. And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” And they cast lots to divide his garments. (Luke 23:32-34 ESV)

In the first passage, Zechariah speaks harsh words of God to Joash, who is displeased and commands the prophet's death. This despite the fact that Zechariah was the son of Jehoiada, the priest who did so much for Joash. As Zechariah was dying, he utters a curse on Joash.

In the second passage, Jesus is crucified because people were upset with his words, his claims. This despite the fact that Jesus was the son of God, the one who did so much for the very people now calling for and carrying out his son's murder. But instead of a curse, Jesus utters words of forgiveness as he dies.

I feel gratitude and awe welling up in me, and am reminded of the day I finished my first reading of the entire Bible.

TWO

Here dies another day
During which I have had eyes, ears, hands
And the great world round me;
And with tomorrow begins another.
Why am I allowed two?

- G.K. Chesterton

Glory, not blame

As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him." (John 9:1-3 ESV)

There was a loud, inconsiderate, irreverent young man seated two rows ahead of me on the train home yesterday. He was loudly talking and cackling with a friend on his cellphone for the first 15 minutes of the ride, as if he were blind to everyone around him. Then the elderly man seated in front of the young man turned around and kindly asked him to be quieter. The young man on the phone verbally brushed the elderly man off and told his friend what had just happened. He then proceeded to repeatedly call the man in front of him "crazy."

This went on for a few more minutes before the middle-aged man seated behind him firmly asked the young man to be quiet, that the train was usually kept quiet out of respect for others and that he was trying to take a nap because he was "tired as hell."

The young man scoffed quietly but continued his conversation in a hushed voice.

During this whole ordeal I couldn't help but to shake my head in disappointment.

"Whose fault is this? Who failed him? His parents must've done a poor job teaching him what it means to be courteous and respectful of those around you. Maybe his teachers didn't do a sufficient job of disciplining him. Maybe his friends abet this behavior."

These were the kind of thoughts treading through my mind.

After reading the three verses posted atop this post, I realized just how quick I am to vindictively assess blame, and how slow I am to see opportunities for glory, mercy and grace. It's so easy to ask why darkness is happening -- more specifically, why it's happening to me -- but so difficult to look beyond that to wonder about what that darkness is meant to bring about.

Is it such a mind-blowing thing to consider that God allows for "blindness" -- hardships, troubles and heartbreak -- in order that he might display his power in it?

No, for we know that our good Father took the darkest blindness and worked out a way to salvation for us. So we can truly say, with full assurance, that it was not we who sinned, nor our parents, nor Adam himself, but rather Jesus, who became sin for us.

I hope the works of God are displayed in that rude young man, as they were in me.

Paucity

Everything and everyone in this world is more valuable when they are made scarce. While paucity is never desired when it comes to good things, the value and worth of those good things increases as they become more rare. Natural resources, money, people...they all increase in value when they become harder to attain. So, in a strange way, we should desire these good things to remain somewhat scarce, or else they might lose their goodness.

So, why does God make himself infinitely available to us?

If he starved us for him, for his blessings, for his presence, wouldn't so many of his people yearn for him with far more fervency than they do now? Wouldn't his name be sweeter on our lips if we were not allowed to utter it with such flippancy, and sometimes even with malice? Wouldn't his words be more beautiful to our minds' eyes, more indelible to our hearts if we did not have such easy access to them? Wouldn't free fellowship with him be vastly more desirable if our freedom to do so was only offered us for tiny windows of time every month?

Sometimes I think that loving God is harder when he grants us so much peace around our respective territories, when he makes himself so available to us. His blessings almost become burdens, in more ways than one. His availability to me almost becomes suffocating, and I near the point of tears when I realize how little of him I truly access each day.

This is where I have been lately. I am struggling with God's blessings, even his grace towards me. They become burdensome to me sometimes, partly because they are so undeserved, partly because I am too feeble and sullied to fully appreciate their profound worth.

I hate the fact that my love for him seems to be alloyed with every signpost of heaven he plants on my path.